girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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