WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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