I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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