I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize