He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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