we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
