that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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