The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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