Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
