I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
