My brain says no but my pants say off.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
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Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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