Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
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I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
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I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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