So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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