Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
