We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
