Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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