Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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