I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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