Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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