You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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