Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
