It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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