i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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