Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
