i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
