My friends, they love my intelligence
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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