i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
