In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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