Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
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I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
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In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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