How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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