The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
