i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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