I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
