people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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