And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
