i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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