bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
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Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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