I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
