Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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