so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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