i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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