; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dick very happy bro
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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