girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
