I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
