The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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