there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I came so hard my ears popped.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
