11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
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She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
