Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0