I'm drive I can fine osifer
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?