So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize