Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
