I don't think brook has ever known best
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
