Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do vagina's smell?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
