The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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