So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have tasted many bathrooms
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
