If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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