SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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