Tell her she can't have a vagina
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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