its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
