We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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